Reflections of a Mother Gone

Over the weekend, I was having what I call reflections of a mother not present in her child's life, or for their next birthday, or even for their marriage. That is something that no child should ever experience. I never had to go through something like that, so I couldn't tell you how it feels, nor would I want to even at the age of 36. 

What I do know is that life is short, and with a friend my age gone, I am reflecting on life, how we handle it, what matters most, and why we do what we do daily. Why do we choose to put certain things first before others? Why do we not tell people we love them as we should? Why do we wait to get together? 

If you were to think about what you were doing yesterday, would you say that you are happy with it? Or, could you stand to live full-out, doing everything possible to live a better more inspiring life? Let me share a story with you. 

Reflections of a Mother and Her Love 

What if I told you that reflections of a mother were not always sweet, but often magical? While attending college and taking a statistics class, there was a young man in my class that was in school to become Mathematician. 

Because Math has been one of those subjects that not everyone is so keen on, one day the professor asked us if we each could tell an inspirational story about how Math had helped us in some way. I thought it was an odd topic, but nontheless interesting. 

This young man spoke up after 3 or 4 other students shared their story, and what he told was truly the most inspirational story about  Math I had ever heard. Here is my own personal translation of it:

"We were in final exams in advanced Algebra, when I was completely stumped on a question. My mom always told me before she died, that if I was ever stumped on a Math question, to reflect on what Math she had taught me and I would be able to roll right through. So, I closed my eyes, and said to myself ,  'Mom, I know you said you would always be with me, and that if I ever needed help, you would be here for me. ' You see, my mom was a Mathematician, and I was following in her footsteps. So, I closed my eyes and focused on the many teaching sessions she had with me, and was able to come up with the answer. As soon as I opened my eyes, I looked down, and I saw a smiley face  on my calculator." 

I wasn't  there, so I can't verify whether or not this story is true or false, but we had no reason to doubt it.  All in all, while so many have their own stories of love, some are simply reflecting on the teachings, faith, and much more passed onto them from their mother. 

What about your mother. Do you have special reflections of her too? 

Reflections of a Mother and Her Love Are Truly a Gift 

If you have a mother, and you have a strong relationship with her, be grateful. Not everyone does. I don't. I wish I did, and I long for it, but it eludes me. 

From the time I was little, I always watched my friends go shopping with their mothers, have special lunches with their mom's, bake together, and more, and so I thought it was weird that my mom never did those things with me. 

Reflections of a mother and her love are so special if you have them, never let them go. Although we weren't close then and we aren't now, I am more aware of what I don't have. It makes me still long for her love, and there is something about it that makes me want to make amends with her even if I don't see how. 

Have you been in this place? Do you have a parent that you would like to have a better relationship with? Don't wait until it's too late so that what you reflect on is NOT trying. Mothers won't be around forever, and it's best to forgive quickly, and love always. 

It takes courage to love those that are not easy to love, and it takes courage to forgive even when you hurt. 

Live courageously. 

Live for God....Literally

Right now, at this very moment, I am sitting in a hospital with WiFi, in the waiting room, waiting for bad news.

A friend is fighting for her life.

Life.

Not because I expect the worst, but the worst has come. I am here because a friend was suffering, and in our humanness, we often do too little too late.

Life.

I've been there. I know. Asking, "Why?" Better yet, it usually sounds something like this; "Why me?" There are many times in my life when life seemed so unfair.

Life. What does it mean to you? Is it precious? Is it transient? Is it something you hold so valuable, that you live full out every day with everything you have in you that you make others WANT to live?

Right now, my friend is going to die within a few minutes because....she had a broken heart, a hard life, and while she loved God, and God loves her, this isn't enough. Why? We continually put ourselves in a place of pain, in that we cling to other humans, those that cannot possibly help us, or love us for who we are nearly enough.

Yet we rely on them so much, and although we keep experiencing the pain, we still reach out for human help. God is the I AM, not a WILL BE. He said that He is the I AM that I AM. There is no negotiating that, but when the stuff of life happens, and you see friend connected to multiple wires, as the result of a drug overdose, what does it all mean?

Humans are NEVER enough, nor could they EVER be enough. God has the most amazing plan for you.

The Why

The first question we ask as humans, that is nearly a mental prompting, is "Why?" It seems that we can NEVER escape "Why" ever. 

We want to know, why WE have pain. We don't think about others, it automatically turns inward. This is why is it SO important that we go to God first. It has been said that it takes courage to come to someone and tell them what is happening when it's a deep and painful issue. 

I know that it is, I have been there. However, it is more courageous to just skip the human beings and reach out to God, the Almighty Powerful One. I am not saying, don't get help. 

There is nothing wrong with getting counseling, but you have to be careful with that too. Not everyone you talk to will give you wise or Godly counsel. Let me share with you what I mean. 

When my parents split, they were separated for a year, and I had absolutely no closure. To top it off, it was my Senior year in high school,  I was working with the Youth Minister from my church because I had no one I could talk to. I was in a tough place, and I just kept burying my pain, and as for my closest circle of friends, their parents were all still married. 

When I sought help, (at that age you better believe good counseling is wise), his words to me were: "Look, I'm very busy right now, and I talk to people like you all day long. So, if you want to kill yourself, go ahead, and take a pencil and shove it into that vein in your wrist and let it bleed. Okay?" 

Not a real man of the cloth in my opinion, but humans aren't really capable of giving the answer that they should because most of the time, they just say, "Awww it''s okay", or "Let's have a party to forget about it." I don't think so.

God's Word is clear, and the great news is that He has given us NOT the Spirit of Fear, but of a sound mind. What could be better than that?  (2  Timothy 1:7)

There isn't one thing I can think of. I don't know that humans are even capable of a true, deeper love, that is without merit. It's so hard to find, and in all reality, humans are always giving expecting something in return. Just once, I would love to see a person pour out so much love on another, that the person is just changed by it. 

God sent His Son to die for us, pouring His blood out to save us, and if that isn't love, I don't know what is. God gives life, so we don't have to give up ours, for any reason. Turn to God first, pray, and talk to Him the same way you talk to your friends. 

If you talk to someone, seek Godly wisdom and Counsel. What God has to offer you is so much better than what any human could ever offer. 

Live Courageously....

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