Reflections of a Mother Gone

Over the weekend, I was having what I call reflections of a mother not present in her child's life, or for their next birthday, or even for their marriage. That is something that no child should ever experience. I never had to go through something like that, so I couldn't tell you how it feels, nor would I want to even at the age of 36. 

What I do know is that life is short, and with a friend my age gone, I am reflecting on life, how we handle it, what matters most, and why we do what we do daily. Why do we choose to put certain things first before others? Why do we not tell people we love them as we should? Why do we wait to get together? 

If you were to think about what you were doing yesterday, would you say that you are happy with it? Or, could you stand to live full-out, doing everything possible to live a better more inspiring life? Let me share a story with you. 

Reflections of a Mother and Her Love 

What if I told you that reflections of a mother were not always sweet, but often magical? While attending college and taking a statistics class, there was a young man in my class that was in school to become Mathematician. 

Because Math has been one of those subjects that not everyone is so keen on, one day the professor asked us if we each could tell an inspirational story about how Math had helped us in some way. I thought it was an odd topic, but nontheless interesting. 

This young man spoke up after 3 or 4 other students shared their story, and what he told was truly the most inspirational story about  Math I had ever heard. Here is my own personal translation of it:

"We were in final exams in advanced Algebra, when I was completely stumped on a question. My mom always told me before she died, that if I was ever stumped on a Math question, to reflect on what Math she had taught me and I would be able to roll right through. So, I closed my eyes, and said to myself ,  'Mom, I know you said you would always be with me, and that if I ever needed help, you would be here for me. ' You see, my mom was a Mathematician, and I was following in her footsteps. So, I closed my eyes and focused on the many teaching sessions she had with me, and was able to come up with the answer. As soon as I opened my eyes, I looked down, and I saw a smiley face  on my calculator." 

I wasn't  there, so I can't verify whether or not this story is true or false, but we had no reason to doubt it.  All in all, while so many have their own stories of love, some are simply reflecting on the teachings, faith, and much more passed onto them from their mother. 

What about your mother. Do you have special reflections of her too? 

Reflections of a Mother and Her Love Are Truly a Gift 

If you have a mother, and you have a strong relationship with her, be grateful. Not everyone does. I don't. I wish I did, and I long for it, but it eludes me. 

From the time I was little, I always watched my friends go shopping with their mothers, have special lunches with their mom's, bake together, and more, and so I thought it was weird that my mom never did those things with me. 

Reflections of a mother and her love are so special if you have them, never let them go. Although we weren't close then and we aren't now, I am more aware of what I don't have. It makes me still long for her love, and there is something about it that makes me want to make amends with her even if I don't see how. 

Have you been in this place? Do you have a parent that you would like to have a better relationship with? Don't wait until it's too late so that what you reflect on is NOT trying. Mothers won't be around forever, and it's best to forgive quickly, and love always. 

It takes courage to love those that are not easy to love, and it takes courage to forgive even when you hurt. 

Live courageously. 

You ARE Enough

It has been said that courage doesn't mean you ever get afraid. You are only human, and so it is that you will experience thoughts and feelings that are human. You just have to know that fear cannot stop you,.

If you look at this photo, you are going to see two amazing individuals that look as though they might be missing something.

Are they actually missing something? Not really,. They have their minds, their hearts, their faith in God, and they still have bodies despite the missing limbs.

Courage is something that Nick Vujicic and Bethany Hamilton know all about.

You Are Enough, Always 

Did you know that most folks in life experience the thought that they are NOT enough? Men, women, and children have all had this thought, and sadly, it repeats in their mind like a broken record.

This is half of what is wrong with people in general, and is linked to their depression and self esteem issues in most cases. It has been said that when others find something wrong with you, it is because they have a problem, or they need to feel better about themselves.

What say you?

The reality is that there is NOT one thing wrong with you, and you are enough no matter what. That only disability anyone has is when they don't try or just flat out refuse to. God is our maker and the reality is that it all comes down to living for an audience of one.

If we are really living for an audience of one, why is it we struggle so much? Let me share a story.

You Are Enough Even When Your Mother Says You Are Not 

At the end of the day, we all think and feel based on what we grow up with. There is no doubt about this, right?  When you are a young woman, what your father has to say about you is critical, and your mother can make or break your feelings too.

A young woman grew up hearing her father call her, "princess", while her mother was constantly obsessed with her makeup, and any imperfections on her face. "Why do you have acne?" "Why do you look puffy?" "Why are you overweight?"

The barrage of comments never seemed to end. It was always appearance based which didn't help. Women try to cling to the fact that they are princess, but this young woman hit rock bottom when her parents split. Her father had an affair, and then he moved. No phone number, address, or any clue to his whereabouts.

She wasn't enough. In her mind, he didn't want her either, or he would have made it easy for her to contact him, find him, see him. For seven years she chased her dad, and she finally found out one day that he left the state in which they lived. She begged his previous employer to tell her, and because the gentleman knew her and how sad she must have been, he gave her the information.

She called, and when she said, "Dad!", there was silence.

"What do you need?" Was the only question he had for her. Pointed, stern, as if she was asking for something. All she wanted was his love, to be his little girl. She wasn't enough in her mind, he sounded bothered by her call.

Princess, if you are reading this, here is the good news; you are enough. In fact, you are MORE THAN ENOUGH! The little girl is still inside you, and that will NEVER go away. However, the thing is, you have a Heavenly Father, and HE will always be there.

Not asking you for anything. He doesn't need any good will from you, no makeup, no sex acts, nothing from you as a person but your love. That is all God has ever wanted from you-PERIOD. You can guarantee that its courageous to reach out to God in a time of need instead of the human help.

• If you have a physical disability, you are still enough.
• If you have been told you aren't smart, you are enough.
• Adopted? Yes, you are still more than enough!

Just be sure that you pass on the love that God has for you. All you ever need to be is, "JUST BE LOVE!" Period. That's it. Love God, love others, and serve.

Live Courageously!

The Gift of Life

It has been said that the gift of life is to wake up each day, have our health, our ability to see, speak, think and do all of the things that we take for granted. We can wake up with a fresh vision, and set out to share more love with others, and teach more too.

Do you consider your life a gift? Or, is it something that you just take for granted? If you aren't living to your full potential, what are you afraid of?

The thing is, God has given us life, and has given us such an amazing opportunity to do amazing things. Yet, so many of us just live the status quo. We do just enough to get by, and yet we could be doing more, sharing more, and having more.

So, do you treasure life? Would you commit to living full out each day as if you had no barriers, nothing stopping you?

The Gift of Life is Also the Gift of Fear.....Kinda

Did you know that from the time we are born, we are super trusting yet we have no idea that we are as our parents hold us? A nurse will take us from their arms, yet we have no clue that this is taking place. 

As we get a bit older, we open our eyes, and we have a concept of fear. Something gets too close to your face and you are afraid, or you see an animal for the first time as a toddler, and you have no idea what it is. Even if a puppy ran up and licked your face and was sweet to you, you might cry. Right? 

Once you have an understanding of things, you then begin to determine what you are fearful of and what you are not fearful of. So, we become less dependent upon God to keep us safe, trusting in him, and we only trust in what we know. 

The gift of fear can be another version of the gift of life. This means that:

1. We get the chance to face that thing we fear and do it anyhow
2. We get the chance to face it off even if we feel like running away 
3. We can easily apply this to life, love, and other relationships 

So, what will you do with your gift? Will you unwrap it and try it out? Or, will you just leave it in the box and wait until later? 

The Gift of Life Won't be Around Forever 

It has been said that life is short, and this is true. I don't know about you, but even being in the first grade seems just like it were yesterday. 

Then I grew up, went to college, met my spouse, got married, got divorced, then suffered for a long time. Then I allowed God in, let go of my fear of being alone, and started living God's purpose for my life. Aha! This is when I met my new husband, and we are now trying to start a family. 

During this time, we have had many losses, a lot of pain, and yet we keep trying. Why? We face that thing we fear most, and we pursue it anyhow. Nothing is too big with our God. We have learned more about the gift of life in our experience than we would have otherwise. 

So, what will you do? 

Live courageously, and embrace the gift of life! 

Live for God....Literally

Right now, at this very moment, I am sitting in a hospital with WiFi, in the waiting room, waiting for bad news.

A friend is fighting for her life.

Life.

Not because I expect the worst, but the worst has come. I am here because a friend was suffering, and in our humanness, we often do too little too late.

Life.

I've been there. I know. Asking, "Why?" Better yet, it usually sounds something like this; "Why me?" There are many times in my life when life seemed so unfair.

Life. What does it mean to you? Is it precious? Is it transient? Is it something you hold so valuable, that you live full out every day with everything you have in you that you make others WANT to live?

Right now, my friend is going to die within a few minutes because....she had a broken heart, a hard life, and while she loved God, and God loves her, this isn't enough. Why? We continually put ourselves in a place of pain, in that we cling to other humans, those that cannot possibly help us, or love us for who we are nearly enough.

Yet we rely on them so much, and although we keep experiencing the pain, we still reach out for human help. God is the I AM, not a WILL BE. He said that He is the I AM that I AM. There is no negotiating that, but when the stuff of life happens, and you see friend connected to multiple wires, as the result of a drug overdose, what does it all mean?

Humans are NEVER enough, nor could they EVER be enough. God has the most amazing plan for you.

The Why

The first question we ask as humans, that is nearly a mental prompting, is "Why?" It seems that we can NEVER escape "Why" ever. 

We want to know, why WE have pain. We don't think about others, it automatically turns inward. This is why is it SO important that we go to God first. It has been said that it takes courage to come to someone and tell them what is happening when it's a deep and painful issue. 

I know that it is, I have been there. However, it is more courageous to just skip the human beings and reach out to God, the Almighty Powerful One. I am not saying, don't get help. 

There is nothing wrong with getting counseling, but you have to be careful with that too. Not everyone you talk to will give you wise or Godly counsel. Let me share with you what I mean. 

When my parents split, they were separated for a year, and I had absolutely no closure. To top it off, it was my Senior year in high school,  I was working with the Youth Minister from my church because I had no one I could talk to. I was in a tough place, and I just kept burying my pain, and as for my closest circle of friends, their parents were all still married. 

When I sought help, (at that age you better believe good counseling is wise), his words to me were: "Look, I'm very busy right now, and I talk to people like you all day long. So, if you want to kill yourself, go ahead, and take a pencil and shove it into that vein in your wrist and let it bleed. Okay?" 

Not a real man of the cloth in my opinion, but humans aren't really capable of giving the answer that they should because most of the time, they just say, "Awww it''s okay", or "Let's have a party to forget about it." I don't think so.

God's Word is clear, and the great news is that He has given us NOT the Spirit of Fear, but of a sound mind. What could be better than that?  (2  Timothy 1:7)

There isn't one thing I can think of. I don't know that humans are even capable of a true, deeper love, that is without merit. It's so hard to find, and in all reality, humans are always giving expecting something in return. Just once, I would love to see a person pour out so much love on another, that the person is just changed by it. 

God sent His Son to die for us, pouring His blood out to save us, and if that isn't love, I don't know what is. God gives life, so we don't have to give up ours, for any reason. Turn to God first, pray, and talk to Him the same way you talk to your friends. 

If you talk to someone, seek Godly wisdom and Counsel. What God has to offer you is so much better than what any human could ever offer. 

Live Courageously....

PS-Need someone to talk to? You can CONTACT US! 

Forgiveness is Always Courageous

Forgiveness is such a hot topic, but it's not always for the best reasons. In reality, most people talk about it because they don't want to forgive, and it's because they don't feel that they should have to.

It never ceases to amaze me how resistant people are to forgiveness, but it could be that many wish not to mend relationships, or it could be that they have grown up with this idea that they are owed something.

So, have you forgiven others in the past? If not, wouldn't you like to move forward with a clean slate? You can change your future, if you choose to make better choices.

Life is all about choices. Don't believe me? Let me tell you a story.

A Mother That Chose Forgiveness Over A Grudge

While it is true that people do horrible things, it's also true that bad things happen to good people. We don't always know why, in fact, we really have no business asking. God is God, and in our humanness, it is no surprise that so many are saying that they are burned out on people. Forgiveness still rules regardless. 

It seems there is a lot of anger these days, and with tough times, guns are being fired, and innocent lives are being taken. There is one such story that was on Oprah many years ago, where a mother was interviewed about her son's killer. Oprah was asking her how she has been coping with his death. 

For this mother, it was simple. She chose to forgive and received her peace in life.There really isn't any reason that she should look for reasons to forgive, but she did it because she knew that not everyone knew what she knew. She understood that some folks only do the best with what they know. 

In many cases that means that they:

1. Grew up in a dysfunctional home
2. Grew up in a violent environment-it's all they know 
3. They don't know Jesus, and they don't have the spirit of love 
4. Don't value the relationship involved

This could be the case for anyone, but it's best that you do what you know is right. Do you believe that it's right to forgive? If someone hurts you, are you quick to forgive? Don't let the stuff of life get in your way, and be sure that you always let people know you love them, and that you value them. 

Remember, forgiveness is simply an act of courage my friends. 

LIVE COURAGEOUSLY! 

Mother Theresa a Woman of Courage

You might be wondering why so many loved Mother Theresa, and why so many looked up to her. It wasn't about her good works but it was always in fact about her compassion for others. Her belief was that no matter how others reacted to her kindness, she would still do it anyhow.

It has been said to have access to her diaries would have been a monumental gift, but with that aside, it's worth studying her as a woman to see how as a figure of compassion and grace, she had ways of sharing love that most of us wouldn't consider.

So, what is it about Mother Theresa that gives us such a great example to follow? It was probably her ability to speak about kindness and compassion, but also her ability to truly carry it out.

Who is Mother Theresa? 

If you aren't familiar with Mother Theresa, you should be. Learning to be more courageous and compassionate has everything to do with her these days. 

While some of us cannot fathom all of her time spent on those less fortunate, she believed it to be the ONLY way to live her life. In fact, if you have ever watched The Secret, you know that they mention her. Perhaps it's not the law of attraction, but it's probably the fact that:

• She was only focused on doing and NOT having
• She lived what she taught
• She was consistent
• She cared for those that no one else would care for 

As a result, people looked to her as a great example, but were often still not prepared to do what she was doing. Let's face it, if someone smells bad, are we anxious to get closer to them? No. In fact, I know I often don't feel that way. 

No joke intended here, but it's getting close to those that no one else wants to get close to that builds courage in your life whether you realize it or not. It is just that we don't WANT to do something? Or is it perhaps because people fear that they will be rejected by others? 

Perhaps isolation is a better word, because your friends may not follow you or support your endeavor. It takes courage to do what others won't, and to keep on doing it when everyone else has walked away. Does that make sense? 

So, what are you doing or focusing on doing to help others? Do you volunteer your time, or do you make it a point to compliment people each day? Do you make it a point to do more of something you should have done a long time ago?

No matter what the case may be, the thing is you need to understand that to be who God wants you to be, it will require you to do things you normally wouldn't consider. So, can you do that? Do you long to be courageous? 

Only you can decide for yourself. 

If you want to live courageously, read the story of Mother Theresa, and then focus on just serving others. It takes courage to serve too, because you may not get anything in return. Are you willing to accept that? 

Live Courageously! 

Rosa Parks, a Courageous Woman

Rosa Parks is no doubt a wonderful figure of our American history. If there ever was a statement to be made of a courageous woman, then she gets my attention. The thing is, most people may not view her as courageous, bu she truly is.

Why?

Because Rosa Parks did something at that time that was unheard of. She was a black woman that wouldn't take no for an answer, and she sat  on the same side of  the bus as a white man, and stood up for her civil rights.

Rosa Parks Revolutionary Act of Courage 

Not only did Rosa Parks sit on the same side of the bus as a white man, but she wouldn't give up her seat for a white man. Can you say,"Go Rosa?" 

No doubt it caused a stir, but why should this have EVER been the case? Her courage launched the Civil Rights movement, and as a result she was arrested. So, who is this woman really?

Parks  wasn't just a woman, but she was a well known woman. In fact, she was the secretary of the Montgomery Chapter of the NAACP. She had held this position since the year 1943, and she was more than happy to challenge the Jim Crow laws. 

These laws were set on public transportation and the plan to boycott bussing be equal for all. At the time, man tried to get her to say that she wouldn't stand due to her sore feet. I love how Parks states that:

"The only tired I was, was tired of giving in."-Rosa Parks

That my friends is courage, it's persistence, it's being bold, it's being confident, and all of the other things that Americans should be. Perhaps, she is one of the greatest profiles in history to look to when it comes to taking a stand for the courage of women too. 

So, what did Parks do with her moment of fame? 

What Happened to Rosa Parks?

At the time I don't believe that Rosa Parks got the recognition that her act of courage deserved. In fact, I think it was so watered down that it was a shame that we didn't really hold her up until later in life for what she did. 

How sad, that it took years for people to view her as courageous, and to appreciate her willingness to stand up for what she believed was right and true. 

Parks went on to work as a seamstress, never speaking of what happened on that day. Would you say that she was due much respect? I would. Most people today do an act of courage, or what they feel is courageous, but all they want to do is talk about how wonderful they are. 

They have no desire to really teach others how to do the same. This is what Courageous Life is really all about. We need more acts of courage, and we need leaders and mentors. 

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